Hello!

While I'm sure no one is really reading this, I feel like I owe it to myself to write this out.
    Ever since I graduated from high school back in 2014, I've been struggling with my depression (Which I had thought I had conquered when I was 18. Buried under a shallow grave I suppose), and when it became clear that I'd have to work full time while living at home just so I could go to school part-time, not only did my depression rear its ugly head, but so did my own feelings of inadequacy. I began holding myself up to anyone and everyone around me, I was my own harshest critic. And while I knew I needed to be kinder to myself, I never could seem to manage it. Then, I finally started to feel better. That was when I began posting again, because I found this super rad group called Pokemon Township. At that time I finally reached a big milestone, I got my associates degree and could begin the process of transferring to a 4-year University. But just as quickly as things started to look up they got bad again. The job which I had been at, which had never really been that great, became increasingly toxic. I slowly began to come unhinged, and as a result, waylaid my plains of going to university.
    I knew that I needed to get a new job, and in a flash of desperation one night, I uploaded my resume to a job finding website. Literally within the next few days I got notified that I was eligible for a job that I thought I wanted. It was with a company that was owned by the family of someone I'd known since I was 5, and I loved his family so I thought I'd love this job. That job has been nothing but a burden for me, and has made me more depressed than I have been in 10 years. So, as I'm sure anyone can imagine, my creativity took a HUGE dive. I've only really started to recover recently, and I've been in university for a year now. That is two upper level studio arts courses that I clumsily crashed through without any real motivation. Sure, I had flashes here and there, but nothing I was really proud of.
    In the midst of all this came another blow to my creativity. I decided that I really wanted to get better at digital art, something I'd always wanted to try out, but never really did, not seriously. I assumed it would be easy since I got an iPad for procreate, and that it would be JUST like drawing with traditional medium. While it really is quite similar, there are some very big differences that even now I have a hard time with.
    But, I recently broke down again and was about to spiral when my something clicked inside and I said "F**K IT ALL" and was finally able to be kinder to myself. All these years, I told myself I wanted to get back to deviantART, because it was fun and cute, and I just loved the communities that were here. But I never could because, again, I kept holding myself up to other people. As a result, I stopped making and sharing art for fun. I was never a prolific poster of course, and of all the art I made only about 1% of it -if even- made it here. And it's not like a have a huge following really. But, none of that was ever the point of being here. I got on deviantART to have fun. There is such a beautiful and supportive community here and I really miss that. People just generally seem to lift people up here, and that is so nice to see. I mean, obviously it's not perfect, what online community is? But this one is pretty damn nice. 

    So, here I am. I'm trying to make a comeback of some sort. I miss making art because I want to, and I miss sharing it with whomever might see it on here. I don't have a lot of what I would call "inspired" or "original" art right now, just stuff I've made for class. But it's something, and that's all that really matters to me.